Is the Step-Mother always Wicked?

Is it something about a wedding ring that makes a woman forget that dude has kids with someone else? Why don’t women realize that your life instantly changes when you become a step-parent? We would all like to think that we are big enough to open our hearts and homes to the love of our lives kids. There are real emotions that you can never predict. His children are a constant reminder that you indeed were not his first. Even if his story is that she tricked him or that she is some gold digger, you have to at least question his decision making skills. There will be jealousy, anger, frustration and a myriad of other emotions that you will experience. If you DECIDE to have children of your own with him, regardless of what you say to him, you will expect that he treats your children together “better” than he does the ones he has with the “trifling ho” that tricked him into having his baby. Every time he writes out a check for child support you will realize that it is taking away from your household. That is if he is even paying child support. Let’s hope that you would be the type of woman that would encourage your husband to take care of his child(ren). If you are not, maybe your desire to be a WIFE surpasses your desire to do what’s right.
Does being selfish when picking a mate make you a bad person? No. You have the right to set standards for the person you will potentially spend the rest of your life with. I would suggest that prior to picking out your bridesmaids dresses, you sit down with your mate and have an open , honest discussion of what you expect and how you intend to fit in to his ready-made family. Here are some questions to start the dialogue:
1. How many kids do you have? (you probably should know that before you say yes to his proposal)
2. Do you pay child support? Are you in arrears?
3. How much time do you spend with your kids NOW? Do you have a custody/visitation order in place?
4. Are you on good terms with the mother?
5. What role will I play in disciplining the kids?
If you don’t think this conversation is necessary you will have a rude awakening the first time he gets out of bed with you in the middle of the night to go to the emergency room to sit with his ex and THEIR baby.